Q: What did the dude say after his first horseback ride?
A: I never knew anything stuffed with hay could be so hard!
Q: Why was the crazy racehorse so upset?
A: He was saddled with a lot of problems.
Q: Why did the farmer's horse go over the mountain?
A: He couldn't go under it.
Q: What would you put on a horse that was going out at night?
A: A satellite
Q: If a king sits on gold, who sits on silver?
A: The Lone Ranger
Q: What is a horse's favorite type of trail?
A: A Bridle path.
Q: What is the best way to mount a horse?
A: How should I know, I'm no taxidermist!
Q: How do you catch a unique horse? Unique up on it!
A: How do you catch a tame horse? Tame way, unique up on it!
Q: When is a horse not a horse?
A: When he turns into a barn.
Q: What has four frogs but doesn't croak?
A: A horse of course!
Q: What is a horse's favorite TV show?
A: Mr. Ed.
Q: What is a horse's favorite football team?
A: The Colts.
Q: What is a horse's favorite part of the ear?
A: The stirrup.
Q: What has four frogs but doesn't croak?
A: A horse!
Q: What happened to the blonde polo player?
A: Her horse drowned.
Q: Why did the horse cross the road?
A: Ask the rider.
Q: How are an eqq and a horse alike?
A: They must be broken before using.
Q: What does every horse and rider do at the same time?
A: Grow older.
Q: When is a horse most likely to go into a trailer?
A: When the gate is open.
Q: What do you do with a blue horse?
A: Cheer him up.
Q: Why does a horse eat grass?
A: Stakes are too tough.
Q: Why didn't the nitwit use hair oil before the big riding test?
A: He didn't want anything to slip his mind.
Q: What do you call 144 horses in a box?
A: Gross!
Q: Can anyone tell me what it means if we find a horseshoe?
A: That a horse is walking around in it's socks?
Q: What do you call a clean Appaloosa?
A: Spotless.
Q: What has two arms, 2 wings, 2 tails, 3 heads, 3 bodies and 8 legs?
A: A man on a horse holding a chicken!
Q: Why don't horses finish college?
A: Because they don't finish high school.
Q: Why did the horse cross the road?
A: It was the chicken's day off!
Q: Why did the dirty horse cross the road a second time?
A: He was a dirty double crosser.
Q: There were 9 horses on a trailor. It turned over. How many were left?
A: 6.
Q: What horses have the smallest feet?
A: The smallest horses.
Q: How do you know there's a horse in your bed?
A: You can smell the hay on his breath.
Q: How long should veterinarians practice medicine on horses?
A: Until they get it right.
Q: When can a horse go exactly as fast as a train?
A: When it's on the train.
Q: What has four legs and can see just as well from either end?
A: A horse with its eyes closed.
Q: Why did the silly horse take a ruler to bed?
A: So he could see how long he slept.
Q: What does a horse become after it's tenth birthday?
A: 11 years old!
Q: What is hairy, has two thousand eyes and east grass?
A: One thousand horses.
Q: Why did the horse vet pour oil on his hands before operating?
A: He wanted be make sure he had smooth operations.
Q: What happens when a black horse jumps into the Red Sea?
A: It gets wet.
Q: What do you get when you cross a horse with the house next door?
A: A nei-ei-ghbor
Q: What did the hose say when he reached the end of his nosebag?
A: "That's the last straw!"
Q: How much do you have to know to teach a horse tricks?
A: More than the horse.
Q: How does a horse get down from a tree?
A: It sits on a leaf and waits for the fall.
Q: What do you know when you see three horses walking down the street wearing tuxedos and top hats.
A: You know you need a psychiatrist.
Q: What is as big as a horse but doesn't weigh anything?
A: A horse's shadow.
Q: How long should a horse's legs be?
A: Long enough to reach the ground.
Q: What's the easiest way to be a race horse in South America?
A: Be born there!
Q: What's a camel?
A: A horse designed by economists.
Q: How do you make a horse float?
A: Place two scoops of ice cream in root beer -- and add one horse.
Q: When's the best day to drink that horse float?
A: Sundae.
Q: If you horse's nose runs and it's feet smell, what's the matter with it?
A: It was made upside down.
Q: When is a horse not a horse?
A: When it turns into a pasture
Q: What is the best type of story to tell a runaway horse?
A: A tale of WHOA!!!
Q: When do horses wear green overalls?
A: When their blue ones are in the the laundry.
Q: Who is a horse like a plum?
A: They're both purple, except for the the horse.
Q: When is a pistol like a young colt?
A: When it is a Colt.
Q: Why did horses dislike Theodore Roosevelt?
A: Because he was a Rough Rider.
Q: What always follows a horse?
A: Its tail.
Q: How did the horse dig a hole?
A: Bit by bit.
Q: Why did the horse put on the blanket?
A: He was a little colt.
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Q: Where do horses stay in a hotel?
A: In the Bridle Suite.
Q: Why did the horse go to the doctor?
A: For hay fever.
Q: What were the horses doing at the theater?
A: Order stalls for Saturday night.
Q: What is the hardest thing about learning to ride a bucking horse?
A: The ground.
Q: What is as big as a horse but doesn't weight anything?
A: A horse's shadow.
Q: What is the difference between a train engineer and a race horse.
A: One is trained to run, the other runs a train.
Q: Why is it hard to recognize horses from the back?
A: Because they're always switching their tails.
Q: What is the difference between a tired old horse and a dead insect?
A: One is a seedy beast and the other is a bee deceased.
Q: What is another name for stable thinking?
A: Horse sense.
Q: What smells good and rides a white horse?
A: The Cologne Ranger.
Q: How did the rodeo horse get so rich?
A: He had a lot of bucks
Q: What do you call a horse that likes arts and crafts?
A: A hobby horse.
Q: What's a nightmare?
A: A horse that keeps late hours.
Q: Why do horses live in barns?
A: Because they are too big for birdhouses.
Q: Which part of a horse is the most important?
A: The mane part.
Q: What happened when the the horse suddenly saw a dollar bill?
A: He bucked.
Q: What is black and white and turns cartwheels?
A: A black and white horse pulling a cart.
Q: What do they do with a cowboy whose voice is really hoarse?
A: They put a saddle on it.
Q: What kind of horse comes from Pennsylvania?
A: A Philly.
Q: How long should veterinarians practice medicine on horses?
A: Until they get it right.
Q: When the big horse feel into a 30 foot well, how did it come out
A: Wet.
Q: What sport makes you go horse ?
A: Stable tennis
Q: What does a polite vet say when he is about to operate on a horse?
A: May I cut in?
Q: Why did the boy stand behind the horse?
A: Because he thought he might get a kick out of it!
Q: What did the horse say to the pig?
A: You are just a boar.
Q: What is the difference between a tailor and a horse trainer?
A: One mends a tear, the other tends a mare.
Q: Why was the little horse unhappy?
A: Because every time it wanted something, it's mother would say, "Neigh!".
Q: What has six legs, but walks with only four?
A: A horse with a rider.
Q: What's a Zebra?
A: A horse with venetian blinds.
Q: What is the difference between a horse and a duck?
A: One goes quick and the other goes quack.
Q: What's a dark horse?
A: A nightmare.
Q: Why did the cowboy ride his horse?
A: Because the horse was too heavy to carry!
Q: Why was the horse all charged up?
A: Because it ate haywire.
Q: Why doesn't it cost much to feed a horse?
A: Because a horse eats best when it doesn't have a bit in its mouth.
Q: A duck and a horse went out for dinner. Who paid?
A: The duck because he had the bill.
Q: Why are horses lousy dancers?
A: They have two left feet.
Q: What do you get when a horse walks under a cloud?
A: A horse that's under the weather!
Q: What is the difference between a horse and weather?
A: One is reined up, the other reins down.
Q: What is the fastest way to ship young horses?
A: By Pony Express!
Q: Why is a drama teacher like the Pony Express?
A: Because he is a stage coach.
Q: What breeds of horses can jump higher than a house?
A: All breeds. Houses don't jump!
Q: How many legs does a horse have if you call it's tail a leg?
A: Only Four. (Calling a tail a leg doesn't make it one.)
Q: What are the only animals to sleep with their shoes on?
A: A horse, of course
Q: Why aren't horses well dressed?
A: Because they wear shoes and no socks.
Q: Which has more legs, a horse or no horse?
A: No horse. A horse has four legs, but no horse has 6 legs.
Q: How do you hire a horse?
A: Put a brick under each hoof!
Q: When is it proper to got to bed with your shoes on?
A: When you are a horse.
Q: Why did the horse take a slice of hay to bed?
A: To feed his nightmares!!!
Q: What do you call it when you pass a tail, ears, mane and legs?
A: A horse.
Q: How do you say goodbye to a horse?
A: Say, "I've gotta whoa now!"
Q: Why do horses go on strike?
A: To get more horsepower.
Q: Why did the horse go behind the tree?
A: To change his jockeys.
Q: What do you give a sick horse?
A: Cough stirrup.
Q: How can you make a slow horse fast?
A: Don't give him any food.
Q: What moves when sat on?
A: A horse.
Q: What part of the horse has the most hair?
A: The outside!!!
Q: What do you call a pony with a sore throat?
A: A little hoarse.
Q: Why is a horse with a sore throat twice as sick as any other animal?
A: Because it is a hoarse horse.
Q: What happens to old horses?
A: They become nags.
Q: What did one horse say to the other horse?
A: The pace is familiar but I can't remember the mane.
Q: What animal has more "hands" than feet?
A: Why, a horse, of course!
Q: What do you give a horse with diarrhea?
A: Lots of room.
Q: How is a pig like a horse?
A: When a pig is hungry he eats like a horse, and when a horse is hungry he eats like a pig.
Q: What moves when sat on?
A: A Horse.
Q: How do you get down from a horse?
A: You don't get down from a horse, you get down from a goose!
Q: Where do you find a horse with no legs?
A: Right where you left him.
Q: What do you you call a horse with no legs?
A: Doesn't matter, he's not going to come anyway.
Q: What do you get when you cross a horse with a Zebra?
A: A horse that is very confused.
Q: What goes to horse races and bets and takes care of sick animals?
A: A betinarian!
Q: What might happen if you walked under a horse?
A: You could get a pat on the head.
Q: How do you tell if a Wagnerian soprano is dead?
A: The horses seem very relieved.
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