| i have value as a person. Maybe teenage entangements are not such a good idea rn
UGH I failed once again and it has been two desperate stupid times now! I keep reminding myself I have nothing to lose - actually I have everything to lose!!! And I feel like she has given up on me😭 Oh my God I am so anxious about this. I really really need to rally myself about this. It can't be that hard, can it??? UGH and this KFC job as well. maybe she'll never notice me. maybe i will die alone. maybe this was all just a waste of time, maybe she LIKES SOMEONE ELSE> I AM SO FREAKING STRESSED.
In other news, a lot has been happening. I started reading Home Body today and I found it amazing especially how she writes about ch se abuse, it is exactly how I feel. So honest and true, in the pleasurable shame u feel, the dirtiness inside that strangles you into oblivion. I don't know if you think I'm just being melodramatic or what....UGH. We had such good times! Things were going so well,,,, but I've been wasting so much time,,,,stalling,,,,was she making the first move,,,,did I abandon her,,,,myself,,,,or did she abandon me,,,ugh i feel very abandoned. Gina