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What does it mean if you find a horseshoe?
A. Some poor horse is walking around in his socks.















Q: How did the cowboy ride into town on Friday, stay for three days, and ride out on Friday?
A: His horse's name was Friday!

Q: Did you hear about the horse with the negative altitude?
A: She always said Neigh

Q: What is the best type of story to tell a runaway horse?
A: A tale of WHOA!

Q: What do you call a horse wearing Venetian blinds?
A: A zebra!

Q: When do vampires like horse racing?
A: When it's neck and neck.

Q: What did the waiter say to the horse?
A: I can't take your order. That's not my stable.

Q: What's the quickest way to mail a little horse?
A: Use the Pony Express.

Q: What did one horse say to the other horse?
A: The pace is familiar but I can't remember the mane.

Q: How do you make a small fortune in the horse industry?
A: Start with a large fortune.

Q: What do you get if you cross a horse with a bee?
A: Neigh buzz

Q: How does a horse from Kentucky greet another horse?
A: With Southern Horspitality!

What do you call 144 horses in a box?
A: Gross!

Q: Where do you put 2 horses that just broken up?
A: In the pasture

Q: What kind of horses go out after dusk?
A: Nightmares!

Q: Why are most horse in shape?
A: Because they are on a stable diet.

Q: What did the horse say when it fell?
A: "I've fallen and I can't giddyup!"
Q: Did you hear about the blonde water-polo player?
A: His horse drowned

Q: What did the teacher say when the horse walked into her class?
A: "Why the long face?"

Q: What do you ask a sad horse?
A: "Why the long face?"

Q: What do you call a baby donkey?
A: A burrito!

Q: What do you call a horse that lives next door?
A: A neigh-bor!

Q: What kind of horse likes to be ridden at night?
A: A nightmare!

Q: Where do horses go when they're sick?
A: The horsepital!

Q: Where do horses shop?
A: Old Neigh-vy!

Q: Why did the horse eat with its mouth open?
A: Because it had bad stable manners!

Q: What kind of bread does a horse eat?
A: Thoroughbred

Q: Why was the horse naked?
A: Because the jockey fell off.

Q: A man from the olden days rode into town on his horse he spended six days and left on Friday how is this possible?
A: Friday was the name of his horse.

Religious Cowboy
The devout cowboy lost his favorite Bible while he was mending fences out on the range. Three weeks later, a horse walked up to him carrying the Bible in its mouth. The cowboy couldn't believe his eyes. He took the precious book out of the horse's mouth, raised his eyes heavenward and exclaimed, "It's a miracle!" "Not really," said the horse. "Your name is written inside the cover."

More jokes!!!




Q: What did the dude say after his first horseback ride?
A: I never knew anything stuffed with hay could be so hard!

Q: Why was the crazy racehorse so upset?
A: He was saddled with a lot of problems.

Q: Why did the farmer's horse go over the mountain?
A: He couldn't go under it.

Q: What would you put on a horse that was going out at night?
A: A satellite

Q: If a king sits on gold, who sits on silver?
A: The Lone Ranger

Q: What is a horse's favorite type of trail?
A: A Bridle path.



Q: What is the best way to mount a horse?
A: How should I know, I'm no taxidermist!

Q: How do you catch a unique horse? Unique up on it!
A: How do you catch a tame horse? Tame way, unique up on it!

Q: When is a horse not a horse?
A: When he turns into a barn.

Q: What has four frogs but doesn't croak?
A: A horse of course!

Q: What is a horse's favorite TV show?
A: Mr. Ed.

Q: What is a horse's favorite football team?
A: The Colts.

Q: What is a horse's favorite part of the ear?
A: The stirrup.

Q: What has four frogs but doesn't croak?
A: A horse!

Q: What happened to the blonde polo player?
A: Her horse drowned.

Q: Why did the horse cross the road?
A: Ask the rider.

Q: How are an eqq and a horse alike?
A: They must be broken before using.

Q: What does every horse and rider do at the same time?
A: Grow older.



Q: When is a horse most likely to go into a trailer?
A: When the gate is open.

Q: What do you do with a blue horse?
A: Cheer him up.

Q: Why does a horse eat grass?
A: Stakes are too tough.

Q: Why didn't the nitwit use hair oil before the big riding test?
A: He didn't want anything to slip his mind.

Q: What do you call 144 horses in a box?
A: Gross!

Q: Can anyone tell me what it means if we find a horseshoe?
A: That a horse is walking around in it's socks?

Q: What do you call a clean Appaloosa?
A: Spotless.

Q: What has two arms, 2 wings, 2 tails, 3 heads, 3 bodies and 8 legs?
A: A man on a horse holding a chicken!

Q: Why don't horses finish college?
A: Because they don't finish high school.

Q: Why did the horse cross the road?
A: It was the chicken's day off!

Q: Why did the dirty horse cross the road a second time?
A: He was a dirty double crosser.

Q: There were 9 horses on a trailor. It turned over. How many were left?
A: 6.

Q: What horses have the smallest feet?
A: The smallest horses.

Q: How do you know there's a horse in your bed?
A: You can smell the hay on his breath.

Q: How long should veterinarians practice medicine on horses?
A: Until they get it right.

Q: When can a horse go exactly as fast as a train?
A: When it's on the train.

Q: What has four legs and can see just as well from either end?
A: A horse with its eyes closed.

Q: Why did the silly horse take a ruler to bed?
A: So he could see how long he slept.

Q: What does a horse become after it's tenth birthday?
A: 11 years old!

Q: What is hairy, has two thousand eyes and east grass?
A: One thousand horses.

Q: Why did the horse vet pour oil on his hands before operating?
A: He wanted be make sure he had smooth operations.

Q: What happens when a black horse jumps into the Red Sea?
A: It gets wet.

Q: What do you get when you cross a horse with the house next door?
A: A nei-ei-ghbor

Q: What did the hose say when he reached the end of his nosebag?
A: "That's the last straw!"

Q: How much do you have to know to teach a horse tricks?
A: More than the horse.

Q: How does a horse get down from a tree?
A: It sits on a leaf and waits for the fall.

Q: What do you know when you see three horses walking down the street wearing tuxedos and top hats.
A: You know you need a psychiatrist.

Q: What is as big as a horse but doesn't weigh anything?
A: A horse's shadow.

Q: How long should a horse's legs be?
A: Long enough to reach the ground.

Q: What's the easiest way to be a race horse in South America?
A: Be born there!

Q: What's a camel?
A: A horse designed by economists.

Q: How do you make a horse float?
A: Place two scoops of ice cream in root beer -- and add one horse.

Q: When's the best day to drink that horse float?
A: Sundae.

Q: If you horse's nose runs and it's feet smell, what's the matter with it?
A: It was made upside down.

Q: When is a horse not a horse?
A: When it turns into a pasture

Q: What is the best type of story to tell a runaway horse?
A: A tale of WHOA!!!

Q: When do horses wear green overalls?
A: When their blue ones are in the the laundry.

Q: Who is a horse like a plum?
A: They're both purple, except for the the horse.

Q: When is a pistol like a young colt?
A: When it is a Colt.

Q: Why did horses dislike Theodore Roosevelt?
A: Because he was a Rough Rider.

Q: What always follows a horse?
A: Its tail.

Q: How did the horse dig a hole?
A: Bit by bit.

Q: Why did the horse put on the blanket?
A: He was a little colt.



Q: Where do horses stay in a hotel?
A: In the Bridle Suite.

Q: Why did the horse go to the doctor?
A: For hay fever.

Q: What were the horses doing at the theater?
A: Order stalls for Saturday night.

Q: What is the hardest thing about learning to ride a bucking horse?
A: The ground.

Q: What is as big as a horse but doesn't weight anything?
A: A horse's shadow.

Q: What is the difference between a train engineer and a race horse.
A: One is trained to run, the other runs a train.

Q: Why is it hard to recognize horses from the back?
A: Because they're always switching their tails.

Q: What is the difference between a tired old horse and a dead insect?
A: One is a seedy beast and the other is a bee deceased.

Q: What is another name for stable thinking?
A: Horse sense.

Q: What smells good and rides a white horse?
A: The Cologne Ranger.

Q: How did the rodeo horse get so rich?
A: He had a lot of bucks

Q: What do you call a horse that likes arts and crafts?
A: A hobby horse.

Q: What's a nightmare?
A: A horse that keeps late hours.

Q: Why do horses live in barns?
A: Because they are too big for birdhouses.

Q: Which part of a horse is the most important?
A: The mane part.

Q: What happened when the the horse suddenly saw a dollar bill?
A: He bucked.

Q: What is black and white and turns cartwheels?
A: A black and white horse pulling a cart.

Q: What do they do with a cowboy whose voice is really hoarse?
A: They put a saddle on it.

Q: What kind of horse comes from Pennsylvania?
A: A Philly.

Q: How long should veterinarians practice medicine on horses?
A: Until they get it right.

Q: When the big horse feel into a 30 foot well, how did it come out
A: Wet.

Q: What sport makes you go horse ?
A: Stable tennis

Q: What does a polite vet say when he is about to operate on a horse?
A: May I cut in?

Q: Why did the boy stand behind the horse?
A: Because he thought he might get a kick out of it!

Q: What did the horse say to the pig?
A: You are just a boar.

Q: What is the difference between a tailor and a horse trainer?
A: One mends a tear, the other tends a mare.

Q: Why was the little horse unhappy?
A: Because every time it wanted something, it's mother would say, "Neigh!".

Q: What has six legs, but walks with only four?
A: A horse with a rider.

Q: What's a Zebra?
A: A horse with venetian blinds.

Q: What is the difference between a horse and a duck?
A: One goes quick and the other goes quack.

Q: What's a dark horse?
A: A nightmare.

Q: Why did the cowboy ride his horse?
A: Because the horse was too heavy to carry!

Q: Why was the horse all charged up?
A: Because it ate haywire.

Q: Why doesn't it cost much to feed a horse?
A: Because a horse eats best when it doesn't have a bit in its mouth.

Q: A duck and a horse went out for dinner. Who paid?
A: The duck because he had the bill.

Q: Why are horses lousy dancers?
A: They have two left feet.

Q: What do you get when a horse walks under a cloud?
A: A horse that's under the weather!

Q: What is the difference between a horse and weather?
A: One is reined up, the other reins down.

Q: What is the fastest way to ship young horses?
A: By Pony Express!

Q: Why is a drama teacher like the Pony Express?
A: Because he is a stage coach.

Q: What breeds of horses can jump higher than a house?
A: All breeds. Houses don't jump!

Q: How many legs does a horse have if you call it's tail a leg?
A: Only Four. (Calling a tail a leg doesn't make it one.)

Q: What are the only animals to sleep with their shoes on?
A: A horse, of course

Q: Why aren't horses well dressed?
A: Because they wear shoes and no socks.

Q: Which has more legs, a horse or no horse?
A: No horse. A horse has four legs, but no horse has 6 legs.




Q: How do you hire a horse?
A: Put a brick under each hoof!

Q: When is it proper to got to bed with your shoes on?
A: When you are a horse.

Q: Why did the horse take a slice of hay to bed?
A: To feed his nightmares!!!

Q: What do you call it when you pass a tail, ears, mane and legs?
A: A horse.

Q: How do you say goodbye to a horse?
A: Say, "I've gotta whoa now!"

Q: Why do horses go on strike?
A: To get more horsepower.

Q: Why did the horse go behind the tree?
A: To change his jockeys.

Q: What do you give a sick horse?
A: Cough stirrup.

Q: How can you make a slow horse fast?
A: Don't give him any food.

Q: What moves when sat on?
A: A horse.

Q: What part of the horse has the most hair?
A: The outside!!!

Q: What do you call a pony with a sore throat?
A: A little hoarse.

Q: Why is a horse with a sore throat twice as sick as any other animal?
A: Because it is a hoarse horse.

Q: What happens to old horses?
A: They become nags.

Q: What did one horse say to the other horse?
A: The pace is familiar but I can't remember the mane.

Q: What animal has more "hands" than feet?
A: Why, a horse, of course!

Q: What do you give a horse with diarrhea?
A: Lots of room.

Q: How is a pig like a horse?
A: When a pig is hungry he eats like a horse, and when a horse is hungry he eats like a pig.

Q: What moves when sat on?
A: A Horse.

Q: How do you get down from a horse?
A: You don't get down from a horse, you get down from a goose!

Q: Where do you find a horse with no legs?
A: Right where you left him.

Q: What do you you call a horse with no legs?
A: Doesn't matter, he's not going to come anyway.

Q: What do you get when you cross a horse with a Zebra?
A: A horse that is very confused.

Q: What goes to horse races and bets and takes care of sick animals?
A: A betinarian!

Q: What might happen if you walked under a horse?
A: You could get a pat on the head.

Q: How do you tell if a Wagnerian soprano is dead?
A: The horses seem very relieved.



| Horses | Having a pony to love means... | Horse breeds | Stop horse slaughter!!! | Photo gallery | Horse comics | horse giphys | Horse Jokes | Horse Facts | Funny horse pictures | See my other sites |
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Horses and ponies - Horse Jokes (Animals - Others)    -    Author : Ella-Samara - Australia


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last update : 2014-09-28

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