How it all changed my life
I can't say how it all started, but what I can say is that it changed everything in my peaceful little life.
I was always very nervous when it came to do with presentations in front of the class. Sometimes I pretented to be sick so I could stay at home. Other times, I would do it but almost faint in front of everyone. It wasn't the presentation itself that was causing me all that anxiety. It was the way people would react to what I was saying, the way people would judge me or even laugh at me if I did a mistake.
One day, it all went wrong. I began to look at other girls in the hallway thinking they were all better than me and that I was just a joke to them. I then started to skip some classes at school. When my parents found out, I was punished, of course, but all it did was just giving me a reason to not hang out with my friends after school and come straight home. For two weeks, all I did was to stay in my room, thinking about how a failure I was all the time and how people were lucky to not be around me anymore. My friends started to go away (with reason, I pushed them away), I started to feel sad most of the time.
At home, whenever I had to go somewhere, I would make up an excuse and stay home. I was afraid to get out of my own house because I didn't want people on the bus to think I was a slut because of how I was dressing or because of my colorful hair. I didn't want everyone to make assumptions about me.
Social anxiety destroyed my life. Completely. You probably all want to hear that it got better and now I can have a normal life without being scared? Well this isn't the truth. I have one friend that I see quite often. Mostly, we see each other at my house, but sometimes we meet outside and it goes well. Sometimes I call at some places to take my appointments for updating my medication.
I improved myself in some ways but there is still a lot of work to do. But you know what?
I know I can do it
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