THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK!!!
Today when I woke up, I just knew it was going to be "one of those days". All I wanted to do was to go back to sleep.
This feeling of depression often hits me after a period of spiritual growth, a success in my ministry, or I perform an act of kindness. I guess it's just the low after the high. But I don't want to be sad, I don't want the enemy to rob me of my JOY.
I expect to live life Joyfully because honestly, I have so many reasons to be HAPPY; an awesome husband, a large family, the best job in the world (HOUSEWIFE) oh sure you laugh, but it really is living in the "Sweet Spot" of life. So many moms have to go to work and leave their beautiful babies in other people's care, I get to enjoy my babies and hug and kiss them and play Candy-Land all day if I want! I love that game.
Anyhow, back to my depression this morning. It started like this, earlier in the week, I did a good deed for a close friend . I won't say what it was only that, God prompted the deed and the enemy of my soul saw it and got angry. Since, he wants to steal the joy of serving God from me, he does all he can to bring me down. That's why I was feeling discouraged when I woke up, and you want to hear something sad? Sometimes, I cooperate with the enemie's plan. Can anyone relate? I cooperate by feeling sorry for myself, indulging depressing thoughts, or I get irritated with others, and my glass starts to look half empty.
I have a theory about all this; I call it The Empire Strikes Back. Remember the movie STAR WARS? Classic good against evil plot. You could even draw parallels between the movie and the Bible. I do. Anyway, at the end of STAR WARS, the good guys beat the bad guys right? And it feels like a great victory, until the sequel comes out, and the bad guys Strike Back.
I believe this is how the Christian life is too. I do a good deed, and the Empire Strikes back. I make a positive change in my life, and the Empire Strikes back. I encourage others, lead a bible study, witness to an unbeliever, and, you got it, the Empire Strikes back! His weapons are many. He uses the sword of discouragement, the spear of anxiety, and the club of doubt. He brandishes old strongholds, and past temptations to get me to sin, and if he can't get me to sin, he will pour out hot tar of guilt on me. I can hear him now, "Oh sure you may not have actually sinned, but you WANTED TO didn't you?"
I'm sick of him. Fortunately, I can beat him. Unfortunately, he keeps coming back. Sometimes he wins, sometimes I win. Ultimately, I win. According to the Bible the war is won (check out Revelation), but for now the battle keeps raging.
So today I did what I always do when The Empire Strikes Back. I read the Bible, prayed, and then went for a run. These are my weapons; Bible reading to gain perspective and gather God's promises, prayer to gain the muscle of God, and running to change my brain chemistry, and release those "feel good" endorphins. Spiritual?-check. Physical?-check. emotional?-check. Halellujah-I feel better already!